Stupid things parents say: Mum edition

Parents say stupid things sometimes. Two days ago my dad said this, and another good example is the conversation I had with mum today:

I have a saying: Lose with grace, and win with gusto. You’ve never heard of it before because I made it up. And I do stick by it. When I told mum that the strange barking-like sound was a dog, and she said it wasn’t, and it ended up being a turkey, I lost gracefully. But I’m allowed to win with gusto, every now and then (or several times a day).

I’ll do some proper posts soon, I’m just relaxing on my last two days of holidays.

Bye!

Balloons, Breasts and Weddings

I was reading a book about writing exercises when I came across a line that I didn't really know how to react to.

"Her breasts balloon; the sky opens inside them"

It wasn't a terrible line until I learnt who wrote it- the daughter. The daughter was writing about her mum's ballooning breasts???

This was the exercise:

I mean, am I the only one who finds this really weird/odd/creepy???

My Dad and I: And our most recent argument

My dad and I are very alike. People often say I’m a mini-him... especially when we're angry.

Though I picture it more like:

I like my pink sunglasses. Oh, and I have stubble, they're just harder to see because they're blond

... I admit it's not my best drawing. 

Anyway, we get on each other’s nerves. A lot. Because we are so alike. A few examples are:

~We both like having the last word…

~Making snide, sarcastic comments under our breath…

~And we lose our tempers and start yelling at each other in the span of a few seconds.

A recent confrontation we've had was the one below:

Bye Everyone!!!

My mum treats me like an idiot!

Sometimes my mum seems to treat me like I’m three. Or younger. Or a complete idiot.

A great example of this is two days ago when I saved a pigeon that was being viciously attacked by a magpie... by saved, I mean I scared the magpie off, not actually attacked it. I was on a roof anyway, so attacking it would have been hard- I had to climb out my second-storey window.

I was the only one home so I wrapped the pigeon in a towel and carried it through the house downstairs and put it in a box with birdseed.

I really had no idea what else to do so I found the yellow pages and rang the first bird vet I could find (it was located over 400 miles away from me).

I asked them what to do and they advised putting her in a box and keeping her warm and ringing my local vet.

My phone doesn't actually have an antennae, I was just struggling trying to draw a phone that looked like a phone :( 

By this time, I had named the pigeon Peggy the Pigeon.

That's not actually her, just the type of pigeon she was. 

And this is the type of pigeon she was with a "Peggy" make-over:

After I got the advice from the Vet, I rang mum and told her I was about to take a pigeon to the Vet, and she (being the somewhat heartless monster she was) said “what can the vet do for it?” I replied, “well, look at her for one, give her painkillers… maybe put her down if her injuries are too painful?” Mum answered with, “Juni, just leave her outside for a while and see what she does.”

So I foolishly followed mum’s advice and put her on the fence and read a book outside, keeping an eye on her.

Two hours later, she hadn’t moved. I went inside for a while (to get lunch) and when I came out she was gone. I instantly panicked and looked on the otherside of the fence where I found her on the ground. I picked her up and brought her back over and put her on the ground.

Ten minutes later, she had vanished.

I was understandably upset and after looking around for her, I gathered that she had flown away and was probably dying/dead. So I texted mum. This was was our conversation:

I mean, WTF!!!!! Does she think I’m an idiot!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!

I have decided to keep Peggy's memory alive by making her a character for my blog!

Peggy hates magpies and loves the color pink. She has aspirations to be a singer. I haven't developed her character any further yet.

Sorry I didn’t post earlier. I was busy........ relaxing. Only a few days left of school holidays :( *insert sobbing*

100 pageviews!

This won't be a big deal for pretty much anyone who has bothered to read this post, but it's a big deal for me! I've had 100 pageviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a proper post I'm posting Monday- this is my final post for September!

Love Juni

When is it time to replace things?

I can admit that my family have trouble deciding when something is ratty, disgusting or broken enough that it needs to be thrown out and a replacement needs to be bought.

  

Unfortunately, I appear to be the only one who can admit that. My parents are blind (sorry dad) when it comes to realizing that WE NEED A REPLACEMENT!!!!

Some fine examples are:

Our balcony. After it suffered significant water damage and my dad put his foot through it (and later on I put my foot through it), it was decided that the floor needed to be replaced… no duh!

(my foot isn't normally this red- it got scratched going through the wood.... and it was cold....)

I’m still in the process of trying to convince my parents that a new doormat is needed. Does this one have sentimental value I don't know about?

My cheap, Mac computer charger I bought off eBay two years ago is short circuiting the house- not so subtle hint, huh?

Plus it gives off sparks when I plug it in.

(don't mock the drawing- it was hard. And yes, that brown line is a wall.)

The kids TV still has a box behind it. Need I say anything else?

guess I can only dream of a flatscreen...

Our second-hand, home-made guinea-pig hutch was over ten years old and was the home of billions of earwigs (and two guinea pigs and a rabbit)

Two months ago, my sister and I wore down our parents and they coughed up a third of the dough needed for a new hutch. Caitlin and I paid the other two thirds.

Why are parents so unobservant?????????????

Love Juni

Charlotte the Spider

As you may or may not know, my sister is arachnophobic.

Of course, being the loving, kind sister that I am, I completely understand this and take special care not to distress her or tease her.

Not really. I bought, especially for Caitlin's benefit, my very own pet spider Charlotte.

Charlotte is a very special girl, who is very sensitive and doesn’t take kindly to Caitlin throwing her in the bin.

Or kicking her.

Charlotte, however, loves Caitlin’s room. She likes to sit on her bed…

Relax under her bed…

And chill on her seat…

Charlotte is a true member of the family!