Saturday, October 6, 2012

Stupid things parents say: Mum edition


Parents say stupid things sometimes. Two days ago my dad said this, and another good example is the conversation I had with mum today:



I have a saying: Lose with grace, and win with gusto. You’ve never heard of it before because I made it up. And I do stick by it. When I told mum that the strange barking-like sound was a dog, and she said it wasn’t, and it ended up being a turkey, I lost gracefully. But I’m allowed to win with gusto, every now and then (or several times a day).

I’ll do some proper posts soon, I’m just relaxing on my last two days of holidays.

Bye!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Balloons, Breasts and Weddings


I was reading a book about writing exercises when I came across a line that I didn't really know how to react to.

"Her breasts balloon; the sky opens inside them"

It wasn't a terrible line until I learnt who wrote it- the daughter. The daughter was writing about her mum's ballooning breasts???

This was the exercise:



I mean, am I the only one who finds this really weird/odd/creepy???





My Dad and I: And our most recent argument


My dad and I are very alike. People often say I’m a mini-him... especially when we're angry.



Though I picture it more like:

I like my pink sunglasses. Oh, and I have stubble, they're just harder to see because they're blond


... I admit it's not my best drawing. 


Anyway, we get on each other’s nerves. A lot. Because we are so alike. A few examples are:

~We both like having the last word…

~Making snide, sarcastic comments under our breath…

~And we lose our tempers and start yelling at each other in the span of a few seconds.

A recent confrontation we've had was the one below:





Bye Everyone!!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

My mum treats me like an idiot!


Sometimes my mum seems to treat me like I’m three. Or younger. Or a complete idiot.

A great example of this is two days ago when I saved a pigeon that was being viciously attacked by a magpie... by saved, I mean I scared the magpie off, not actually attacked it. I was on a roof anyway, so attacking it would have been hard- I had to climb out my second-storey window.



I was the only one home so I wrapped the pigeon in a towel and carried it through the house downstairs and put it in a box with birdseed.



I really had no idea what else to do so I found the yellow pages and rang the first bird vet I could find (it was located over 400 miles away from me).

I asked them what to do and they advised putting her in a box and keeping her warm and ringing my local vet.

My phone doesn't actually have an antennae, I was just struggling trying to draw a phone that looked like a phone :( 


By this time, I had named the pigeon Peggy the Pigeon.





That's not actually her, just the type of pigeon she was. 

And this is the type of pigeon she was with a "Peggy" make-over:



After I got the advice from the Vet, I rang mum and told her I was about to take a pigeon to the Vet, and she (being the somewhat heartless monster she was) said “what can the vet do for it?” I replied, “well, look at her for one, give her painkillers… maybe put her down if her injuries are too painful?” Mum answered with, “Juni, just leave her outside for a while and see what she does.”

So I foolishly followed mum’s advice and put her on the fence and read a book outside, keeping an eye on her.



Two hours later, she hadn’t moved. I went inside for a while (to get lunch) and when I came out she was gone. I instantly panicked and looked on the otherside of the fence where I found her on the ground. I picked her up and brought her back over and put her on the ground.

Ten minutes later, she had vanished.

I was understandably upset and after looking around for her, I gathered that she had flown away and was probably dying/dead. So I texted mum. This was was our conversation:



I mean, WTF!!!!! Does she think I’m an idiot!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!

I have decided to keep Peggy's memory alive by making her a character for my blog!

Peggy hates magpies and loves the color pink. She has aspirations to be a singer. I haven't developed her character any further yet.


Sorry I didn’t post earlier. I was busy........ relaxing. Only a few days left of school holidays :( *insert sobbing*




Saturday, September 29, 2012

100 pageviews!


This won't be a big deal for pretty much anyone who has bothered to read this post, but it's a big deal for me! I've had 100 pageviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a proper post I'm posting Monday- this is my final post for September!

Love Juni

Thursday, September 27, 2012

When is it time to replace things?


I can admit that my family have trouble deciding when something is ratty, disgusting or broken enough that it needs to be thrown out and a replacement needs to be bought.
  
Unfortunately, I appear to be the only one who can admit that. My parents are blind (sorry dad) when it comes to realizing that WE NEED A REPLACEMENT!!!!

Some fine examples are:

Our balcony. After it suffered significant water damage and my dad put his foot through it (and later on I put my foot through it), it was decided that the floor needed to be replaced… no duh!


(my foot isn't normally this red- it got scratched going through the wood.... and it was cold....)

I’m still in the process of trying to convince my parents that a new doormat is needed. Does this one have sentimental value I don't know about?



My cheap, Mac computer charger I bought off eBay two years ago is short circuiting the house- not so subtle hint, huh?



Plus it gives off sparks when I plug it in.


(don't mock the drawing- it was hard. And yes, that brown line is a wall.)


The kids TV still has a box behind it. Need I say anything else?



guess I can only dream of a flatscreen...



Our second-hand, home-made guinea-pig hutch was over ten years old and was the home of billions of earwigs (and two guinea pigs and a rabbit)





Two months ago, my sister and I wore down our parents and they coughed up a third of the dough needed for a new hutch. Caitlin and I paid the other two thirds.




Why are parents so unobservant?????????????

Love Juni



Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Charlotte the Spider


As you may or may not know, my sister is arachnophobic.



Of course, being the loving, kind sister that I am, I completely understand this and take special care not to distress her or tease her.



Not really. I bought, especially for Caitlin's benefit, my very own pet spider Charlotte.



Charlotte is a very special girl, who is very sensitive and doesn’t take kindly to Caitlin throwing her in the bin.



Or kicking her.



Charlotte, however, loves Caitlin’s room. She likes to sit on her bed…



Relax under her bed…



And chill on her seat…



Charlotte is a true member of the family!


Awkward moments... horse-riding edition


After a six year break, I decided to get back into horse riding. I've had a few Sunday lessons and have been making excellent progress. Since I'm on school holidays, I decided to do treat myself with an extra lesson on Monday.



Bad idea.

Have you ever experienced the humiliation of going to an event or lesson, only to discover you're twice the height and age (actually, I was four times the age of one girl) of everyone else?

Turns out a lot of parents thought that the holidays would be a good time for their little darling eight year old (and younger) daughters to try horse riding.



It was humiliating. There was me on Saffy (15hh Cremello Quarter Horse) and them on their little ponies. Saffy was massive compared to their horses. Especially Charlie's (the four year old girl) Shetland pony Sultan. Saffy was, like, twice the height of it!!!



Oh god, the humiliation!

I stuck out. I looked tall, awkward and old. I didn't belong. People openly stared- and I swear to god it wasn't just in my head.

But being the masochist (should I know what that word means?) I am, I'm doing the same lesson again next week... I just don't learn


Monday, September 24, 2012

Returning DVD's (and trying to find them)


We used to have a DVD rental shop about a kilometer from our house, but recently it’s shut down. Now, my family LOVES watching DVD’s, especially funny ones. Though, my dad has a weird obsession with a movie called Top Gun. It’s weird. In fact, for father’s day mum got him a cup that says Top Dad on it, with the same style as the title Top Gun on the movie… he’s blind though, so I’m not sure if he could fully appreciate what mum thought was brilliant.




Anyway, I’m getting side-tracked. Since our DVD rental shop got closed down, we know have to go to one that is around a ten/fifteen minute drive away. Which sucks.

Now, I have an unfortunate habit of forgetting where I leave things.

I seriously just forget in minutes and end up looking around for ages. Once I lost my phone, only to discover I had put it on the bookshelf, and then it all came back to me- I had put it on the bookshelf because I thought I wouldn’t forget I put it there because it was a weird place to put it.

Ellie-Fish moment


I’m digressing… again.

I always forget where I put the DVD’s. Always. And last night was no different. Mum had borrowed a couple of awesome movies for us and wanted to return them, so I was hunting all over for the disks.



During my hunting, I found a DVD that belonged to me...

...but it was obviously not the one I was looking for, so I handed it to my three year old cousin Jaida (Ella’s sister) and asked her to put it in the lounge room. She trotted off, and I continued looking.



Then mum walked past and out the door, and I felt a bit puzzled, then assumed that she had found the DVD, and stopped searching and started playing with Ella and Jaida.



We were on the trampoline, and about half an hour later mum had arrived home and she marched outside and asked, “what DVD did I ask for, Juni???” I felt a bit puzzled and said,
“You asked for the Men in Black DVD.” Mum put her hands on her hips.
“Well, the DVD shop just rang and said that the wrong disk was inside the case! I have to drive all the way back there or I’m going to be charged extra! That’s going to take half an hour!!” she raged.  



I felt really pissed off upset at the way she was speaking, and I said, “well you headed off before I even found the DVD!” and mum said,
“Jaida gave me a DVD and said you gave it to her!”



I was bemused, then I remembered giving Jaida a disk to take into the loungeroom. “Um, I gave Jaida a disk to put on the coffee table.” I told her, “didn’t you even look at the disk before you put it in the cover?”

Mum looked a bit guilty. “No…”



Turns out Jaida had given mum the DVD and mum stupidly naively forgot to check it. In your face mum!!!! I was in the right and you were in the wrong!!! Take that!!! Um…. let that be a lesson to you mum that you should always check which disk you’re putting in the case.
  

Love Juni!!!!