Stupid things parents say: Mum edition

Parents say stupid things sometimes. Two days ago my dad said this, and another good example is the conversation I had with mum today:

I have a saying: Lose with grace, and win with gusto. You’ve never heard of it before because I made it up. And I do stick by it. When I told mum that the strange barking-like sound was a dog, and she said it wasn’t, and it ended up being a turkey, I lost gracefully. But I’m allowed to win with gusto, every now and then (or several times a day).

I’ll do some proper posts soon, I’m just relaxing on my last two days of holidays.

Bye!

Balloons, Breasts and Weddings

I was reading a book about writing exercises when I came across a line that I didn't really know how to react to.

"Her breasts balloon; the sky opens inside them"

It wasn't a terrible line until I learnt who wrote it- the daughter. The daughter was writing about her mum's ballooning breasts???

This was the exercise:

I mean, am I the only one who finds this really weird/odd/creepy???

My Dad and I: And our most recent argument

My dad and I are very alike. People often say I’m a mini-him... especially when we're angry.

Though I picture it more like:

I like my pink sunglasses. Oh, and I have stubble, they're just harder to see because they're blond

... I admit it's not my best drawing. 

Anyway, we get on each other’s nerves. A lot. Because we are so alike. A few examples are:

~We both like having the last word…

~Making snide, sarcastic comments under our breath…

~And we lose our tempers and start yelling at each other in the span of a few seconds.

A recent confrontation we've had was the one below:

Bye Everyone!!!

My mum treats me like an idiot!

Sometimes my mum seems to treat me like I’m three. Or younger. Or a complete idiot.

A great example of this is two days ago when I saved a pigeon that was being viciously attacked by a magpie... by saved, I mean I scared the magpie off, not actually attacked it. I was on a roof anyway, so attacking it would have been hard- I had to climb out my second-storey window.

I was the only one home so I wrapped the pigeon in a towel and carried it through the house downstairs and put it in a box with birdseed.

I really had no idea what else to do so I found the yellow pages and rang the first bird vet I could find (it was located over 400 miles away from me).

I asked them what to do and they advised putting her in a box and keeping her warm and ringing my local vet.

My phone doesn't actually have an antennae, I was just struggling trying to draw a phone that looked like a phone :( 

By this time, I had named the pigeon Peggy the Pigeon.

That's not actually her, just the type of pigeon she was. 

And this is the type of pigeon she was with a "Peggy" make-over:

After I got the advice from the Vet, I rang mum and told her I was about to take a pigeon to the Vet, and she (being the somewhat heartless monster she was) said “what can the vet do for it?” I replied, “well, look at her for one, give her painkillers… maybe put her down if her injuries are too painful?” Mum answered with, “Juni, just leave her outside for a while and see what she does.”

So I foolishly followed mum’s advice and put her on the fence and read a book outside, keeping an eye on her.

Two hours later, she hadn’t moved. I went inside for a while (to get lunch) and when I came out she was gone. I instantly panicked and looked on the otherside of the fence where I found her on the ground. I picked her up and brought her back over and put her on the ground.

Ten minutes later, she had vanished.

I was understandably upset and after looking around for her, I gathered that she had flown away and was probably dying/dead. So I texted mum. This was was our conversation:

I mean, WTF!!!!! Does she think I’m an idiot!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!

I have decided to keep Peggy's memory alive by making her a character for my blog!

Peggy hates magpies and loves the color pink. She has aspirations to be a singer. I haven't developed her character any further yet.

Sorry I didn’t post earlier. I was busy........ relaxing. Only a few days left of school holidays :( *insert sobbing*