Awkward moments... horse-riding edition

After a six year break, I decided to get back into horse riding. I've had a few Sunday lessons and have been making excellent progress. Since I'm on school holidays, I decided to do treat myself with an extra lesson on Monday.

Bad idea.

Have you ever experienced the humiliation of going to an event or lesson, only to discover you're twice the height and age (actually, I was four times the age of one girl) of everyone else?

Turns out a lot of parents thought that the holidays would be a good time for their little darling eight year old (and younger) daughters to try horse riding.

It was humiliating. There was me on Saffy (15hh Cremello Quarter Horse) and them on their little ponies. Saffy was massive compared to their horses. Especially Charlie's (the four year old girl) Shetland pony Sultan. Saffy was, like, twice the height of it!!!

Oh god, the humiliation!

I stuck out. I looked tall, awkward and old. I didn't belong. People openly stared- and I swear to god it wasn't just in my head.

But being the masochist (should I know what that word means?) I am, I'm doing the same lesson again next week... I just don't learn

Returning DVD's (and trying to find them)

We used to have a DVD rental shop about a kilometer from our house, but recently it’s shut down. Now, my family LOVES watching DVD’s, especially funny ones. Though, my dad has a weird obsession with a movie called Top Gun. It’s weird. In fact, for father’s day mum got him a cup that says Top Dad on it, with the same style as the title Top Gun on the movie… he’s blind though, so I’m not sure if he could fully appreciate what mum thought was brilliant.

Anyway, I’m getting side-tracked. Since our DVD rental shop got closed down, we know have to go to one that is around a ten/fifteen minute drive away. Which sucks.

Now, I have an unfortunate habit of forgetting where I leave things.

I seriously just forget in minutes and end up looking around for ages. Once I lost my phone, only to discover I had put it on the bookshelf, and then it all came back to me- I had put it on the bookshelf because I thought I wouldn’t forget I put it there because it was a weird place to put it.

Ellie-Fish moment

I’m digressing… again.

I always forget where I put the DVD’s. Always. And last night was no different. Mum had borrowed a couple of awesome movies for us and wanted to return them, so I was hunting all over for the disks.

During my hunting, I found a DVD that belonged to me...

...but it was obviously not the one I was looking for, so I handed it to my three year old cousin Jaida (Ella’s sister) and asked her to put it in the lounge room. She trotted off, and I continued looking.

Then mum walked past and out the door, and I felt a bit puzzled, then assumed that she had found the DVD, and stopped searching and started playing with Ella and Jaida.

We were on the trampoline, and about half an hour later mum had arrived home and she marched outside and asked, “what DVD did I ask for, Juni???” I felt a bit puzzled and said,

“You asked for the Men in Black DVD.” Mum put her hands on her hips.

“Well, the DVD shop just rang and said that the wrong disk was inside the case! I have to drive all the way back there or I’m going to be charged extra! That’s going to take half an hour!!” she raged.  

I felt really pissed off upset at the way she was speaking, and I said, “well you headed off before I even found the DVD!” and mum said,

“Jaida gave me a DVD and said you gave it to her!”

I was bemused, then I remembered giving Jaida a disk to take into the loungeroom. “Um, I gave Jaida a disk to put on the coffee table.” I told her, “didn’t you even look at the disk before you put it in the cover?”

Mum looked a bit guilty. “No…”

Turns out Jaida had given mum the DVD and mum stupidly naively forgot to check it. In your face mum!!!! I was in the right and you were in the wrong!!! Take that!!! Um…. let that be a lesson to you mum that you should always check which disk you’re putting in the case.

  

Love Juni!!!!

Ellie-Fish

I have the memory of a goldfish/elephant mutation.

When it comes to things like remembering how to find the area of a pentagon in maths, I’m golden. Things like adjectives, pro-verbs, similes, onomatopoeia, the events in basically any book I’ve read since prep (actually, it’s kind of scary how well I remember what I’ve read) and atomic structure, I’m fine. It’s sticks in my brain like glue.

But when it comes to remembering things like homework, breakfast, jobs to do and why I needed to go into a room, I’m a wreck. Hell, I write initials on my hand in pen and an hour later, I won’t have any idea what they stand for.

So, for when I blog about moments like these, I have created… drum roll please… Ellie-Fish!

Ellie-Fish is the only remaining elephant/goldfish mutant left in the world. 

Ellie-Fish is sweet as pie, and a symbol of those moments when you open up your bag on surf camp and realize you’ve left your bathers at home. Oops.

Love Juni

The Spinning Wheel Of Death

Any Mac computer user will agree with me. The rainbow colored wheel spells doom. I cannot explain the frustration of seeing that little wheel go around and around as you realize that your computer has frozen and you're going to have to shut it down.

If you're someone like me who doesn't constantly save what she's doing, this is more then just disastrous. You lose TONS of important things. I've lost hours of school work, and, more importantly, hours of SIMS game time! Lost!

The reason I'm posting about this is because of an incident at school today with Thing One (freakishly tall best friend).

It was in Food Tech and I was bored out of my freaking brains. Then the teacher let us go on our laptops to do research for this fun project we're doing. So I happily opened up my computer lid- I was on lock screen and typed in my password and hit enter.

And it just froze. But, to my relief, there was no spinning wheel. I didn't want to shut down my computer because I hadn't saved my SIMS game and had several hours of unsaved hard work. And it would just suck if I lost it all.

My moans of self-pity attracted and Thing One's attention and she laughed at me as I pleaded with my computer, offering everything from a screen shine to new stickers if only it would log in. Then I did the ultimate- I promised my computer if it logged in I would marry it.

Thing One instantly laughed and said "now the spinning wheel's gonna come up!" and literally only two or three seconds after she said that, the dreaded rainbow wheel appeared. "Oops," went Thing One, "guess I jinxed it!" she joked, letting out a laugh. I was decidedly less then impressed.

So I did what any normal frustrated teenage girl would do. I shot her with a gun between the eyes.

Not really. I just stomped on her toes. She didn't even stop laughing, damn her!

I didn't speak to her for exactly 37 point something minutes. I know. It's sad that I counted. But the reason I spoke to her again? After over half an hour the wheel of doom disappeared and my computer unlocked!!! Woohoo!!!

Bye everyone!

Stupid Dreams!

Usually I make an effort not to talk about my dreams with other people. Dreams are so convoluted and bizarre, that they never really make sense to people unless they've actually experienced the dream themselves. Which means, telling people about your dreams just leads to intense periods of boredom. And people telling you about their dreams? Even worse. Boring as hell.

But I have to make an exception here:  does anyone else get those really annoying dreams when you actually dream you're getting ready for school/work?????????

This morning mum woke me up and then I thought I'd gotten up and started eating breakfast. Then mum woke me up again. And I realized it was just a damn, freaking dream.

It's just sooooooo annoying! Almost as bad as your alarm not working so your mum has to wake you up in the first place!

Sorry this is a short post but recess is over! (I'm at school)

Lots of love, Juni

The Torture That Is School Camp

School Camps

Anyone who’s ever been on a school camp can probably back me up on this. Not every moment is the glorious, fun-filled adventure camps are shaped up to be.

A few of my school camps really stand out in my mind. Year Six- when we went to Canberra (capital city of Australia and filled with old stupid buildings and embassies and government houses... need I explain further? I think not!) Year Eight- camping at the Prom and it flooded. Year Nine- The Snow (which disaster do I choose?)

~~~~~

CANBERRA CAMP- YEAR SIX

Memorable moments from year six camp include falling asleep listening to the Prime Minister speak while visiting Parliament House, falling asleep on the grass outside Old Parliament House, falling asleep listening to some old person talk about a War (forgive me everyone, but I was eleven) in the War Memorial and starving to death.

Ever had a school camp when you had to get up at half past six in the freaking morning? One where you were given a sandwich, tiny pack of healthy crackers and apple as the only meal between breakfast and dinner? And all at once? They didn’t have the decency or thoughtfulness to stretch the meager portions over the day! And have you ever had a school camp where you spent most of the time trying not to fall asleep?!?!

Welcome to my Year Six Canberra camp. It sucked. It really, really, really, really sucked. It’s hard to express just how much it sucked. I thought, at the time, it was THE WORST camp I would ever go to. I was wrong.

~~~

WILSON'S PROM- YEAR EIGHT CAMP

I thought Canberra was the most goddamn awful place on earth to spend a camp, until year eight when I spent a week at Wilson’s Prom. We packed what we needed into backpacks, hiked nearly ten kilometers in the freaking rain, set up tents on hard, rocky ground, ate a crappy, mostly raw meal that was cooked over a mini camp fire thingy that wasn’t working properly, and went to sleep. That was day one.

When we were woken up by water, we figured out our tents had freaking flooded! Everything we had brought was drenched. Absolutely saturated. It was terrible. Horrible. Wet. Very wet. We ate a breakfast of powdered milk and water, with soggy cereal. And I mentioned the powdered milk and water separately because the powder did not dissolve.

The next six days consisted of hiking, putting up wet tents, freezing to death, packing up wet tents, hiking, putting up wet tents, freezing to death, packing up wet tents, hiking and bad food that was mostly raw. I cried when we went home, I was so happy.

~~~~~

YEAR NINE CAMP- THE SNOW

I thought that nothing could possibly top the Wilson's Prom camp off, I really did. I was wrong.

Have you ever been to a camp where you’ve been so desperate for warmth that you laid down on a heated public bathroom floor? With your teacher and rest of your class lying right next to you? Have you ever been on a camp where people have actually injured themselves to get taken home?

I have. Year Nine. Last year. We went to The Snow.

We should have realized that it would be terrible when our instructors told us that they had accidently left our group’s food at the bottom of the mountain. Seriously- if that ever happens to you get the hell out of there instantly! Because it’s only going to get worse. We were stuck eating the left-overs from the other groups for TWELVE days.

The skiing was okay… for the first three days. The snow was melting so there weren’t many open slopes. Most of the snow was the fake kind. Of course, that didn’t mean it wasn’t freezing. Because it was. Freaking freezing!

Then on day four disaster struck. Again. Our clothes got soaked when the buggy-thingo that was taking them across to our next destination broke down and they were left there over-night. Apparently it rained. Or snowed. And then the snow melted. Because by the time we got our stuff back, they were horribly wet.

This is when the tears started. We actually had to sleep on our clothes to try and warm them up so they would dry! The place we were staying was so basic, it didn’t have up-to-date heaters, only the old-fashioned type that if you left anything on them, they caught fire. We should know.

Day seven was when we found the bathroom with the heated floors. It was a public bathroom in this place we went into to get lunch. We actually laid down on them, crying our eyes out because they were so warm. And the teachers laid down with us. (not the instructors though, because apparently heated public bathroom floors were below their standards... snobs...)

Day seven was also the day when the “accidents” started. Perhaps the memory of what warmth felt like spurred some of the girls on to desperate measures, because five girls actually hurt themselves (over the period of the remaining days) just so they could go home. The most memorable accident the one of a girl that we will call Sarah (that’s not her real name- her real name is Christie. Just joking. You don’t get to know her name). Sarah purposely ski-ied (is that how you spell ski-ied? Auto-correct doesn’t like it) straight into a rock. A freaking rock.

God kill me if I lie. (I actually don’t know the proper words for that saying, and I’m agnostic so… either smile and read on, or just insert the right phrase there). Seriously. She ski-ied into a rock.

And we were all so jealous as she actually waved as she was driven away in a snow-buggy-thingy, her neck in a brace and her ankle swollen as hell (her neck turned out to be fine, but she broke a bone in her foot). Five out of the eleven of us went home early, because of injuries. Despite my best efforts, I was not one of them.

If anyone has had worse experiences on a school camp, please let me know. It might be therapeutic for me.

Love Juni!

The Three Types of Populars- and me!

Popular Girls

I can sort the ‘popular’ girls at school into three groups. There’s the Sporty Populars, the Snobby Populars and the Slutty Populars.

Characteristics of a Sporty Popular:

§  Good at sport (obviously)

§  Loud

§  Annoying

§  Talk to others in a patronizing tone of voice

§  Talks in class

§  Always orders around other kids, especially during sport

§  Rude

§  Think they’re amazing at sport (and everything else)

Queen of the Sporty Populars at my school: Abby-Rose (see above)

Characteristics of a Snobby Popular

§  Come from well known families

§  Parents are well liked, usually members of the school community

§  Complain about the school uniform

§  Have doting followers

§  Wear expensive make-up and clothes

§  Gossipy

§  Have high-self confidence

§  Outgoing personality

§  Bitchy

    Talk in class ALL the time

§  Can be attractive

Queen of the Snobby Populars at my school: Sammi (see above)

Characteristics of a Slutty Popular

§  Most are hot

§  Wears slutty clothes

§  Modifies the school uniform to look slutty

§  Blabs on and on about boyfriends

§  Bitchy

§  Wears a ton of make-up

§  Rude

§  Talks in baby-voice

Queen of the Slutty Populars at my school: Steph P (see above and times sluttiness by 1, 000, 000, 000, 000)

So why am I writing about this? I thought I should introduce myself a little, and what better way to introduce myself then talk about who I’m not.

Who am I?

I’m a bit different from most people. I’m socially awkward (like most bloggers), find it hard to express myself in person, have two friends (though I’m friendly with the Super Nice Nerds- I HATE the Super Stuck-Up Nerds) and belong in the tiniest friendship group in the school.

I call my friendship group.. drum roll... The Freaks. Coz we are. Kind of. In a nice way.

My friends are Thing One, Thing Two and Biffle. They are my bestest, bestest friends! Biffle is unfortunately in another country this year, but will be back next year.

Why are they freaks?

Thing One is freakishly tall- she's taller then all the students (and most teachers) in the school.

Thing Two is a freakishly smart... hell, she's a freaking genius! She's only 14 (she skipped a year and her birthday's in November, so she's not 15 yet) and she is doing year eleven maths (while she's in year ten), as well as advanced English and Science.

Biffle is freakishly into running. She wants to be a marathon runner in the Olympics. And let me tell you- she will be! Biffle runs approx. 5 to 10 kilometers every morning before school, and has training four times a week, after school. She whips butt at school cross-country and has broken all the cross-country records at our school- and our school is 138 years old!!! That's a hell of a lot of people, and Biffle's beaten them all!!!

So how am I a freak, you might be wondering... Who am I kidding? You don't need me to write down how messed up I am! It's kinda obvious... and if it isn't then I'm a better actress then I thought!!!

But, just for the hell of it, allow me to bare my soul to you!

I was admitted into a psychiatric ward when I was thirteen... Not much else needs to be said. I was admitted into a fucking psych ward!!! I won't go into too many details there, but it was a real low in my life... depression does that to a girl.

Going back to a lighter subject… I know this hasn't exactly been a 'funny' post' (which I aim to do and forgive me if I ever go for a cheap laugh... I'm learning!) but I just wanted to introduce my friends and classmates so when I blog about them later, you'll know who I'm talking about.

Hugs and kisses!

Juni